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January
2, 2002
Shahid
Alam
Is
There An Islamic Problem?
David
Vest
Turn,
Turn, Turn
January
1, 2002
Kathy
Kelly
Iraq's
New Year
December
31, 2001
John Absood
An
Alternative to War in Iraq
Ramzi
Kysia
Iraq
Goes Radioactive
December
28, 2001
John Chuckman
Observing
George Bush
Suren
Pillay
Civilian
Bodies
Aaron
Lehmer
Inviting
Future Terrorism
December
27, 2001
Patrick
McNamara
Palestinian
Children Bear Brunt of Mideast Violence
Nelson
Valdés
A
Possible Scenario on the Location of bin Laden
Jensen
and Mahajan
Remember
the Afghan Dead
Philip
Farruggio
A
New Year's Resolution
Ramzi
Kysia
The
People of the Valley
December 26, 2001
John Chuckman
In
Praise of the Unspeakable
Sam Bahour
2002:
Year of the Twos
December 25, 2001
Jennifer Loewenstein
Israel's
Human Rights Record
December 24, 2001
Sam Bahour
It
Happened One Morning
Yair Khilou
Why I Resisted
Being Drafted into the Israeli Army
Michael
Chisari
War
as Diversionary Tactic
Cockburn/St. Clair
Enron
and the Green Seal
December 21, 2001
Tom Turnipseed
War
Good for Bush
John Chuckman
The
First Victim in the
War on Terror
December 20, 2001
Lawrence
McGuire
Killing
Other People's Children
Miriam Rozen
Foundation
Without Representation?
Kenneth
Roth
A
Letter to Rumsfeld on
Military Tribunals
William Blum
Casualties:
Theirs and Ours
December 19, 2001
Marjorie
Cohn
Don't
Pre-Judge John Walker
Sam Bahour
Palestine
and You
A Photographic Journal of Life
in an Afghan Refugee Camp
By Judith Mann
Resources:
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About 9/11
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Five
Days That
Shook The World:
Seattle and Beyond
By Alexander
Cockburn
and Jeffrey St. Clair
Photos by Allan Sekula
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War Diary
CIA's Assassination Plan a History of
Torture in US Prisons
bin Laden and Bush
Business Connections
Aisha Ikramuddin on the Hidden Hype
of US Food Bombs
Peter Linebaugh on
Pakistan
Christopher Hitchens' Love for Mrs. Thatcher
Jiang Zemin Tells Bush:
Nuke 'Em
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Robust Heroin Market and Helped to Finance the Rise of the Taliban
and Osama bin Laden
Whiteout:
CIA, Drugs & the
Press
by Alexander
Cockburn
and Jeffrey St. Clair
The Memphis Blues Again:
Six Decades of Memphis Music Photographs
Photos by Ernest Withers
Text by Daniel Wolff
The New Intifada:
Resisting Israel's Apartheid
Edited by Roane Carey
A Pocket Guide to
Environmental Bad Guys
by James Ridgeway
and Jeffrey St. Clair
The
Phoenix Program
by Douglas Valentine
Al Gore:
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by Cockburn
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January
2, 2002
Secret Plan X:
From a Concerned
Secretary
By John Chuckman
(The following transcript in a plain
brown envelope was slipped under my door sometime in the middle
of the night. The transcript bears all the earmarks of authenticity,
but I leave it to readers to decide.)
Excerpts from: THE CHAIRMAN'S TAPES:
BEING A RECORD OF A TOP-SECRET MEETING OF THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL
COMMITTEE
FORWARDED TO MR. CHUCKMAN BY A CONCERNED
SECRETARY
Compassion:
"This here word's okay now in campaign
lit'ature, jus' don't go gettin' carried away with it. Photo-ops
with li'l black an' Hispanic chil'en's fine so long as, now
I wanna repeat this, boyz, (Transcriber's note: No women's voices
are heard on the tape) so long as they all presentable an' were
not the result o' any illicit relations an' ain't never been
treated foh drugs or any o' them lib'rah diseases, an' you
boyz know what I'm sayin' on that one so I don't hafta draw
ya no pictures. Now, I don't want any a ya lettin' me down on
this one, ya all hear!"
Family Values:
"Now, spite some grumblin' an' moanin',
this here's been a winner foh us, what ya might call a breakthrough,
in bein' able ta say one thing an' doin' somethin' else, which,
tell me if I'm wrong on this, is jus' the kinda thing a red-blooded
party like ours's always on the lookout foh. (Transcriber's
note: Loud hoots and cheers and laughter are heard in the background.)
"An' as foh that lib'rah bunch a
pukes out there, well, they jus' can't go g'inst family values.
An', heck, you boyz know it don't slow ya down none from havin'
a good time. It keeps them Good-Book thumpers out there on our
side. Now, they's definitely some folks we all'd surely rather
have inside the tent spittin' an' hissin' out, than outside
spittin' an' hissin' in.
"I know you boyz'll agree with me
on that (Transcriber's note: More loud cheers and laughter are
heard). So I don't wanna hear no more gripin' an' frettin' on
this one, boyz. Jus' squeeze a li'l mention inta ev'ry speech
there somewheres."
Secret Plan X:
"I ain't a goin' ta say a who'e
lot on this here taday. They's a special ex'utive meeti' commin'
up nex' year. But you boyz knows this here's the party's ultimate
goal, our 'tomic bomb so ta speak. We been a nippin' an' tuckin'
round the edges a this long as anyone can remember. We been
foh no mo'e spendin', no mo'e programs, no mo'e taxes, no mo'e
poor folks gettin' handouts, an' no mo'e lib'rah pukes bein'
elected.
"But these's been half-way measures,
we all know that! Jus' wait'll we tell the 'merican people they
don't need no fed'ral gov'ment anymore. Jus' get rid o' the
danged thing! I'll tell ya, boyz, this one's gonna be big. We
gonna win big with this.
"Now, I don't want any a ya runnin'
off at the mouth on this here 'fore we ready ta go. Am I makin'
myself clear on that? (Transcriber's note: Loud roars of assent
throughout the hall.)
"We buildin' a advertizin' war ches'
on this the like a which ain't never been seen. Ya outta see
them contrabutions pourin' in! Why, we got corporations tithin'!
That's right, boyz, corporations tithin' ! Now, who 's gonna
say the 'merican people ain't the mos' gen'rous an' patriotic
in the world? (Transcriber's note: Cheers are so loud, the
remainder of the text is only approximate.) They know they gonna
make it back in no time. Boyz, this here's gonna fix us up foh
life!"
John Chuckman
is a columnist with YellowTimes.
He encourages your comments: jchuckman@YellowTimes.ORG
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