A Family Values Man

I want to be a right wing
family values type of man
frequent all the porno and
smut shops that I can
Lecture the ghettos about
their promiscuity
While giving some hot babe
some hootchie coochie
I want to be a right wing
family values type of man

I want to be a right wing
family values type of man
preach that the drug laws
shouldn’t bend
But you’d find me in Georgetown
Snorting coke
Any weekend
I want to be a right wing
family values type of man

I want to be a right wing
family values type of man
Insist that low street crimes
be brought to the docket
While easing a little soft money
Into my expensive suit pocket
I want to be a right wing
family values type of man

I want to be a right wing
family values type of man
You’d see me in campaign ads
with my wife dog and child
But when partying with the
boys, I’d get a little wild
Have strippers and drag
queens coming out the ears
after doing more than a half-
dozen beers,
But tomorrow I’m in Congress
raising moral sand
Because I’d be a right wing
family values type of man

ISHMAEL REED is one of CounterPunch’s favorite writers. His novel Mumbo Jumbo is a comic masterpiece worthy of Twain himself. Reed lives in Oakland and edits the excellent online journal of politics and poetry Konch.